1. drellaw said: Hi, are you taking commissions?

    Yes! Whach’ya need, Lou Reed?

    3 days ago  /  0 notes

  2. Schrödinger's Pact

    Ty: look at this shit [url]

    Rickard: ugh, it's terrible!

    Ty: 5000 notes though

    Ty: I guess we're wrong!

    Ty: *gunshot*

    Rickard: aaah, I also wanna kill myself

    Rickard: but I don't own a gun!

    Ty: not even a pretend one?

    Rickard: I never picked one up

    Ty: how about a bottle of sleeping pills or something, got those?

    Rickard: not pretend ones

    Ty: well that stuff WAS pretty terrible

    Rickard: extreme measures then!

    Ty: nice knowing you

    Rickard: haha, how worried are you I'll actually down a bottle of pills right now?

    Ty: only slightly.

    1 month ago  /  26 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  3. Smart Equals Dick Squared

    Ty: I was taking a brain test on an app last night, just like for fun

    Rickard: hurry to tell your presumably lame story about how smart you are so I can say my thing

    Ty: Apparently I score high on "brain processing speed" (no other areas though).

    Rickard: So what does that say about MY processing speed, jumping to that realization before you could even verbalize it yourself

    Rickard: moral of the story; no matter how smart you are, I'm smarterer

    Ty: I was answering a phone call in between...

    Rickard: moral of the story; I'll always find a way to be smug

    Ty: That's the moral of every story with you

    1 month ago  /  32 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  4. Human Moment

    Rickard: my morning haze just lifted

    Rickard: and I just remembered

    Rickard: did you call me a good friend out of the blue this morning?

    Ty: I did

    Rickard: what were you, drunk again?

    Ty: ah come on, I don't drink that much

    Ty: I was trying to have a human moment with you

    Rickard: so no excuse, you're just like, super gay

    Ty: no, just a poor judge of character

    2 months ago  /  67 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  5. I made a video to make sure you’d all remember I’m going to be at PAX East! Watch and enjoy! Or.. WILL you?

    3 months ago  /  17 notes

  6. cubewatermelon:

    Yo, Ty Halley and I are getting to the heart of important issues over here

    4 months ago  /  119 notes  /  Source: cubewatermelon

  7. The Arguing

    Ty: I don't know why I bother arguing with people

    Ty: It never ends in my happiness

    Rickard: I never argue

    Rickard: If a person isn't smart enough to assume I'm always right I can't be bothered with them

    Ty: wait... that's not true! You argue all the time!

    Rickard: So I found this new anime

    Rickard: I think Ty would've liked it

    Rickard: if only he wasn't DEAD TO ME!

    4 months ago  /  99 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  8. Same Page?

    Ty: yeah. I really liked turning that phrase. but you're right, it just muddled the structure, had to kill that baby

    Rickard: good boy

    Rickard: I'm all about killing babies

    Ty: You're way better about killing babies than me

    Ty: I should take a page outta your baby killing book

    Rickard: the trick is to shake them really hard

    Ty: you...

    Rickard: wait...

    Ty: ever feel like you're on the same page as someone

    Ty: and then think

    Ty: you might not be?

    Rickard: um...

    Ty: look

    Ty: i'm talking about

    Ty: we'll say it at the same time..

    Ty: 3...2...1...

    Rickard: baby MURDER

    Ty: LITERAL babies

    Ty: OKAY! phew

    Rickard: PHEW!

    5 months ago  /  49 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  9. fenrirlives said: Have you used any of your Ty and Rickard conversations in twogag? Can you please do that at some point? It would be balls off the wall hilarious

    drunkennovice:

    Not until today
    (
    source)

    5 months ago  /  22 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  10. Ty: So NBC had some live Sound of Music production

    Ty: It just makes me realize how much better you can do this story when you have the luxury of any setting and multiple takes

    Ty: You know what? That movie was good

    Me: I have work at 7am but am wired and here you are talking about Sound of Music

    Ty: Yup

    Ty: I mean, don't you agree?

    Me: Yeah

    Ty: Yeaaah!

    Ty: Okay I'll let you sleep, but Sound of Music was a good movie

    Ty: Dream of it

    7 months ago  /  6 notes  /  Source: gravitationaltimothy