1. drellaw said: Hi, are you taking commissions?

    Yes! Whach’ya need, Lou Reed?

    2 months ago  /  0 notes

  2. Schrödinger's Pact

    Ty: look at this shit [url]

    Rickard: ugh, it's terrible!

    Ty: 5000 notes though

    Ty: I guess we're wrong!

    Ty: *gunshot*

    Rickard: aaah, I also wanna kill myself

    Rickard: but I don't own a gun!

    Ty: not even a pretend one?

    Rickard: I never picked one up

    Ty: how about a bottle of sleeping pills or something, got those?

    Rickard: not pretend ones

    Ty: well that stuff WAS pretty terrible

    Rickard: extreme measures then!

    Ty: nice knowing you

    Rickard: haha, how worried are you I'll actually down a bottle of pills right now?

    Ty: only slightly.

    4 months ago  /  26 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  3. Smart Equals Dick Squared

    Ty: I was taking a brain test on an app last night, just like for fun

    Rickard: hurry to tell your presumably lame story about how smart you are so I can say my thing

    Ty: Apparently I score high on "brain processing speed" (no other areas though).

    Rickard: So what does that say about MY processing speed, jumping to that realization before you could even verbalize it yourself

    Rickard: moral of the story; no matter how smart you are, I'm smarterer

    Ty: I was answering a phone call in between...

    Rickard: moral of the story; I'll always find a way to be smug

    Ty: That's the moral of every story with you

    4 months ago  /  32 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  4. Human Moment

    Rickard: my morning haze just lifted

    Rickard: and I just remembered

    Rickard: did you call me a good friend out of the blue this morning?

    Ty: I did

    Rickard: what were you, drunk again?

    Ty: ah come on, I don't drink that much

    Ty: I was trying to have a human moment with you

    Rickard: so no excuse, you're just like, super gay

    Ty: no, just a poor judge of character

    5 months ago  /  67 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  5. I made a video to make sure you’d all remember I’m going to be at PAX East! Watch and enjoy! Or.. WILL you?

    6 months ago  /  17 notes

  6. cubewatermelon:

    Yo, Ty Halley and I are getting to the heart of important issues over here

    6 months ago  /  119 notes  /  Source: cubewatermelon

  7. The Arguing

    Ty: I don't know why I bother arguing with people

    Ty: It never ends in my happiness

    Rickard: I never argue

    Rickard: If a person isn't smart enough to assume I'm always right I can't be bothered with them

    Ty: wait... that's not true! You argue all the time!

    Rickard: So I found this new anime

    Rickard: I think Ty would've liked it

    Rickard: if only he wasn't DEAD TO ME!

    7 months ago  /  101 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  8. Same Page?

    Ty: yeah. I really liked turning that phrase. but you're right, it just muddled the structure, had to kill that baby

    Rickard: good boy

    Rickard: I'm all about killing babies

    Ty: You're way better about killing babies than me

    Ty: I should take a page outta your baby killing book

    Rickard: the trick is to shake them really hard

    Ty: you...

    Rickard: wait...

    Ty: ever feel like you're on the same page as someone

    Ty: and then think

    Ty: you might not be?

    Rickard: um...

    Ty: look

    Ty: i'm talking about

    Ty: we'll say it at the same time..

    Ty: 3...2...1...

    Rickard: baby MURDER

    Ty: LITERAL babies

    Ty: OKAY! phew

    Rickard: PHEW!

    7 months ago  /  49 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  9. fenrirlives said: Have you used any of your Ty and Rickard conversations in twogag? Can you please do that at some point? It would be balls off the wall hilarious


    Not until today

    8 months ago  /  22 notes  /  Source: drunkennovice

  10. Ty: So NBC had some live Sound of Music production

    Ty: It just makes me realize how much better you can do this story when you have the luxury of any setting and multiple takes

    Ty: You know what? That movie was good

    Me: I have work at 7am but am wired and here you are talking about Sound of Music

    Ty: Yup

    Ty: I mean, don't you agree?

    Me: Yeah

    Ty: Yeaaah!

    Ty: Okay I'll let you sleep, but Sound of Music was a good movie

    Ty: Dream of it

    10 months ago  /  6 notes  /  Source: gravitationalspook